The Loser's Concept

I’ve come across many people in my life who claim to be dreaded by their past. They say they prefer not talking about it, even though their past haunts them still. The thing that grabs my attention in this matter is that most of these people have lost something or someone in the past, which is why it bothers them so much despite the passage of a long time. Some people have reasons like betrayal, taken advantage of, egoism, trust issues, backstabbing, over-possession, jealousy and several others.

We are all losers. Yes, you are a loser. I am a loser too. By saying “loser”, I mean we have all lost things or people at one point of time, probably more than just at one point. We lose someone close to our hearts and it feels like a part or rather the whole of our heart has been taken away by this person while leaving or being lost. Some of us refuse to forgive that person while the rest of us forgive. It is also said, “Forgive and forget. Time heals all wounds.” Contrary to popular belief, you should forgive but never forget. Never forget the lesson they taught you. Never forget what caused those wounds to you. Never forget what they did but you should always forgive him/her for doing it.

Dear reader, I would like to ask you a question – Do you believe in ‘forever’?

Do you believe that there is something in this universe that is built to last forever? You see, I don’t think that’s true. I think ‘forever’ is just a veneer of a word that gives us satisfaction temporarily in the present, but the truth is only discovered when time unveils it. However, this is not the only thing I think of when I come across the word. With ‘forever’ comes ‘hope’. The things in our life that we believe to last forever make us happy and hopeful. Such things are usually special to us and we always try to preserve their value in our lives by any means. We want the special things to never end. They form a very important part of our lives and also take up an irreplaceable place in our hearts. That is why when they leave, it hurts in places that you didn’t even know you had inside yourself.

But hey, what is life without these ups and downs? Life is like a bridge. Enjoy your way through it but don’t build a house on it! I read that somewhere in my friend’s book, though. It had a picture of a bridge in San Francisco. My point is, when something is lost it’s your decision to either go looking for it or just let it be lost. Sometimes, it’s not that easy because when it comes to losing SOMEONE, you can do so much as try to bring them back, or learn to live with the fact, or be happy about them moving on and move on yourself or simply forget everything and pretend to think it was just a bad dream. There you go – the menu of choices for tonight’s dinner.

Dear reader, the past is gone and there’s no point losing your mind over it now. If you were able to get over it, I’ll have to say you’re a brave person and you inspire me. But for those who still find themselves stuck running in the treadmill of regrets, you’re going nowhere. You see, the past does not exist anymore. It only exists on your mind and it feeds on your regrets. So as long as you are feeding it with your tears, it will only grow and consume you from within. In the end, it’ll strangle you to the extent of depression – a place that is easier to get into but harder to come out of. In fact, you might think that you’re there now but you’re not. Trust me, if you were there, you wouldn’t even be reading all this. Besides, you can’t really trust what your mind says or what your heart says when you’re falling apart. They just make things seem to be worse than it really is. So I hope this piece of writing does its job by reaching you and giving you a new perspective. Late is better than never, right?

Sometimes, you discover the sides of people that you never expected they would have. You might be taken aback and even refuse to accept the truth. But at one point of time, you’re bound to give up pretending to yourself. At times like these, it’s better to simply let go. Let go of the feeling that you had about them being extraordinary and the pain you felt when you saw them breaking their promises (Silence is meant to be broken, promises aren’t). You see, you’ll meet many people and each person will teach you something or the other about life – either by good or bad means. So learn them and teach others. I’ll remember what Monica said in the very first episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, “Welcome to the real world! It sucks! You’re gonna love it.”

P.S. This TV show is so much more than just a sitcom. It has taught me a lot. ‘Smelly Cat’ never goes out of style. If you’ve never watched it before, you really should. :)