The Becoming

Hello, birdies! Long time, no see. Let’s catch up, shall we? I turned 21 this month and unlike all my previous birthdays, I felt very invigorated and empowered this year. I must add that this was not one of those temporary bouts of energy and excitement where we feel invincible and powerful one day and then slip back into harsh reality the next. In fact, it was the dawn of my newfound identity and the collaboration of my experiences and lessons throughout the last 20 years of my life. I have never been better.

Despite the mature undertone, I truly feel fifty years younger than before! What happened to the old Harshita? Well, although she continues to rest within my memory and remains dormant until summoned, my new personality takes the forefront and this is the version of me I live as in the present. I’m confident that I will continue to change for as long as I grow, but I also preserve the ashes of my past selves under my own surveillance. The past belongs best to where it always was - in the past but I feel, carrying our past with us shouldn’t mean we completely base our present and future over it, unless of course one seeks retrogressive evolution. Might as well grow back our tails in that case!

Anyways, do you ever wonder if it’s necessary to survive hell for character development? Must we conquer all the shitty situations that we call the fair share of lows in our lives? It might be a hard pill to swallow but to a certain unavoidable extent, it is. We are all guilty of taking many things in our lives for granted - things that would otherwise be blessings and miracles for the less privileged. We are all guilty of falling into the trap of chasing things we don’t have. What better fodder could the advertising industry find, right? Once we get what we want, we immediately move on to our next pursuit. It’s rare for us to pause after every win, or every little progress, to acknowledge how far we’ve come and what we’ve achieved. Successes and failures come and go on the way but we are bound to keep up with the fast pace of our world because as our beloved VIRUS said, 

“Life is a race. If you don’t run fast, you will be like a broken andaa (egg).” 

Regardless of how much we don’t want to be that broken andaa, we cannot qualify for success without being a broken andaa first. Two of the biggest lessons I learned this year are that: 1) failures can be stacked over one another to build the staircase that leads us to our success 2) Starbucks is kind of overrated (coming from a coffee lover, mind you). There’s no doubt that a lot of us are scared of loss and failures. But guess what we’re even more scared of? Success. Everybody loves you when you’re not competition. But the moment you start climbing the ladder, they’re immediately thrown off. People can’t do something, they’ll tell you that you can’t either. That’s what it’s all about. You against that tiny voice in your head saying you can’t win.

As a former people-pleaser, I know the heart of those who easily put others’ lives before their own. While it’s good to help others, it’s toxic to let that always neglect yourself. So when you’re someone like that, it can be difficult to be competitive, especially against the same people you help. I learned it a little late but I did realise it. I was overselling myself to everyone and willing to settle even for the bare minimum in return. Though none of my friends are my competition anymore, I think it’s much easier for me to be competitive now, regardless of who my opponents are. If you’re not competitive, it can be a little challenging to win the cut-throat competitions in today’s world. So it’s a great ammunition to add to your arsenal to win at life.* 

*if the goal of your life is success which need not be the case for everyone.

Honestly, whoever invented the standard order of life that we go to school - get into college - get a job - get married - retire - finally start living - take a one way ticket out of life, I have questions. I’m 21 and it genuinely disappoints me to see people upstairs turning something as invaluable and precious as education into corrupt business and politics. Education is every soul’s birthright, not only because knowledge is power but also because without it, we would miss out on way too much in life than we deserve to. These so-called authorities of distinguished institutions and educational sectors seem to be taking advantage of a student’s needs. No, Jimmy, I’m not saying everything should be free of cost but the state we’re in now is far beyond the reasonable. 

Being a student is tough. I do not say this as a complaint but as a matter of fact. Being a student is tough, being a teenager is tough! So if you’re any one or both of those, I applaud you. *applauds for herself too because she’s a student who was once a teenager* Let me share something with you, dear reader. It may be me against all the other adults in this world but I’m just going to say it : my teenage was much much much harder than my adulthood. You might be thinking, “well sure, Harshita, just wait till you’re 30 or 50. Let’s hear your answer then.” Let me tell you, I do not think of what my life will be when I’m 30 or 50 and maybe I feel this way because I’m still in my early twenties now, but I have never felt so sure about a conclusion before. 

So, yes, it definitely sucks to have to go through terrible phases in life to be strong and wise. But I think the world would have felt much more comforting for us if things like mental health were de-stigmatised. There will absolutely be times in our lives when we have to look up to see rock-bottom. Not everyone survives that and the ones who don’t and give up on life are shamed even after they’re gone. So who is to blame? Us. Why isn’t the problem fixed? Because we fail to admit that we are part of the problem. It’s much easier to throw the blame on the victims and the words “people” and “society”. But did you forget? We are people too and we form the society we so freely blame. This is why I seize every opportunity I get to educate myself on such matters and unlearn my misconceptions and always do my part. I hope you do the same.

I shall keep it till here for now. There’s a lot more to say indeed. 

Anyways, wish you the best of luck. Thank you for reading the first post of The New Girl.